Archive for July, 2009
Michael Jackson was enabled to his death
In Drunks, Drugs & Debits: How to Recognize Addicts and Avoid Financial Abuse, I wrote: “The higher an addict’s social status, the greater the enabling, because the enablers have more to lose….Enabling is the reason so many talented people—Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Richard Burton and John Belushi—die young; they are ‘helped’ to their graves by those around them.” Close people can’t tell the addict he needs to stop drinking and using if they are to protect their jobs, incomes and, in many cases, positions of status, prestige and power. Underlings can too easily be fired.
Let’s not confuse this with blaming enablers for addiction, a genetic disorder that results in biochemically processing a drug in ...
Ed McMahon, likeable drunk–but those at the other end of his financial travails might have a different view.
Runners-up for top story of the month:
Longtime “Tonight Show” sidekick Ed McMahon, dead at age 86. McMahon, whose life was partially chronicled in these pages in July 2008 edition of TAR, sued his insurer and won $7.2 million in a settlement over mold that allegedly killed his dog Muffin in the early 2000s. That’s one way to get your money back after blowing through a reported $200 million net worth. More recently, he sued Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, two doctors and the owner of the home where he fell and broke his neck some 30 months ago. Like other addicts, he likely triggered alcoholism at an early age and was, therefore, a practicing alcoholic while he served as ...
Can anyone think of a reason why a celebrity doctor would have inexplicably large debts and be the target of lawsuits and judgments?
Under watch:
In a recent piece on white collar crime, The Economist magazine mentioned something those who have read my books would predict: “Many [Club Fed and other white collar] prisoners suddenly discover, post-conviction, that they had a drinking problem….” I would add that those who don’t figure this out might benefit from greater introspection. In the spirit of The Economist’s discovery, a case is presented for which the evidence of alcoholism is in the behavior itself.
Dr. Conrad Murray, the cardiologist who was with Michael Jackson when he went into cardiac arrest. He filed for bankruptcy in 1992. If that were all, he wouldn’t be on our radar. However, this was followed by five tax liens totaling more than $44,000 between ...
A registered nurse and a legal team enabled Jackson and Chris Brown. One died, perhaps so that others may learn.
Enablers of the month:
Nutritionist and registered nurse Cherilyn Lee, 56, who said, despite Michael Jackson’s repeated demands for the heavyweight drug Diprivan, which is given intravenously for anesthesia, “He wasn’t looking to get high or feel good and sedated from drugs. This was a person who was not on drugs.” Believing his addict-talk, she quoted Jackson: “I don’t like drugs. I don’t want any drugs.” She explained that he “just wanted more energy.” Lee spoke out in an effort to “protect” Jackson’s reputation from what she considers unfounded allegations of drug “abuse.” Unfortunately, Ms. Lee, given Jackson’s extraordinarily bizarre behaviors, his reputation would suffer if he had not been a poly-drug addict. The fact that you have overlooked the enormous ...
The disenablers around Jackson didn’t stand a chance against the money that others willingly took.
Disenablers of the month:
Michael Jackson’s nanny, Grace Rwaramba, 42, who was fired in December 2008 for proposing an intervention for Michael. “He didn’t want to listen,” she says. She added, “That was one of the times he let me go.” At least you tried, Grace. But you had to battle the likes of Cherilyn Lee and her cohorts. You didn’t stand a chance.
University of Southern California sociologist Julie Albright, who observed that celebrity doctors may have questionable pasts or significant debts. “Some of these people might not be the most successful doctors, so the money will [not only allow them to make large amounts of money, but also] buy their complicity in fueling a drug” addiction. Elvis had such a ...
Michael Jackson and other addict’s stars shine brightly. They take risks the rest of us do not.
Sometimes, it takes an addict:
Michael Jackson is not the only star who was likely driven by and succumbed to alcohol and other-drug addiction. Ironically, Jackson kept statues of Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe at his Neverland ranch. He bought the publishing rights to the songs of John Lennon’s Beatles. Those whose stars burned brighter after death according to one newspaper report, perhaps because of their early demise, include a whose-who of addicts: “Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Roberto Clemente, Steve Prefontaine, Steve McQueen, Judy Garland, Hank Williams and Barbaro.” Except for the great long-distance runner Prefontaine and the horse, Barbaro, they were all addicts.
Although we can’t be certain when Jackson triggered his addiction, we know that alcoholism usually begins during the ...
Fr. Martin’s “Chalk Talks on Alcohol”: terrific little book, even if flawed
Father Joseph C. Martin’s Chalk Talks on Alcohol
Fr. Martin died March 9, which I unfortunately overlooked. He should have had top billing in the April TAR section “Sometimes it takes an addict.” It’s time to make up for that omission.
Fr. Martin’s book, which was originally in hardcover with the title No Laughing Matter, evolved from a series of lectures developed and delivered in the 1970s for business and government, particularly the armed services. He credited Austin Ripley and Dr. Walter Green of Guest House, a Lake Orion, Michigan treatment facility for the clergy founded and operated by Ripley, for teaching him everything he knew about alcoholism. He began studying the subject in 1958, several years after he had been forced ...
Some close friend. She lies, steals, manipulates…Oh, does that sound familiar?
Daughter abuse
Thief with infant needs consequences—for the sake of the baby
Dear Doug:
A close friend lets her infant son play with toys she puts in the bottom of her grocery cart taken from the store while shopping. She “forgets” to pay for these items. I’ve warned her about this, but she hasn’t been caught. In addition, she and her husband are maxing out their credit cards on jewelry, sporting events and fancy dinners intending to file for bankruptcy. I had to take a second job to make ends meet and pay all of my bills. I’m jealous. What should I do?
Signed,
Envious
. . . . .
Dear Codependent,
Other columnists would rightly suggest you drop her as a friend because she is a cheat ...
A gift from God, even if only for a year.
Dear Doug,
My 44-year-old husband of 19 years died of cancer only a few months ago. While he was kind, funny and talented, he was also an alcoholic. The last year of his life was the best because he got sober and focused on our relationship.
My husband’s family is dysfunctional and disconnected from each other. Except for his mother, he wasn’t close to any of them. Though she’s kind and sensitive, she’s anxious and depressed. She is divorced from my father-in-law, who is also an alcoholic.
Time heals, and I no longer have the deep-rooted grief that his family still has. I’m trying to move on with my life. How do I tell the in-laws that their grief is a downer and ...
A discussion of Ohio’s DUI plates is replete with myths. Let’s clarify.
“I don’t believe that alcohol makes you dangerous unless you are [at] the point [where] you are seeing double, or passed out.” “Have two beers and [you are] considered intoxicated.” “5-6 drinks doesn’t make you a danger.”
So said various comments responding to a Beacon Journal column on the statistical failure of DUI plates (affectionately known as “party plates”) in Ohio, which are special license plates intended to notify other drivers and authorities that the car being driven was involved in an arrest for DUI. I wouldn’t bother addressing these myths of alcoholism, since I’ve covered them in one form or another elsewhere in my books (especially in Alcoholism Myths and Realities and Get Out of the Way! How to Identify ...
The seemingly crazy mayoral candidate should be given the benefit of the doubt, just like other “crazy” people.
Alcoholic Antic-of-the-Month
Story from “This is True” by Randy Cassingham, with his “tagline:”
“MORE CHICKEN GOODNESS: A Kentucky Fried Chicken store in St. Petersburg, Fla., called police to report a customer would not leave. When served his eight-piece chicken meal, Paul Congemi, 52, allegedly screamed "That's not my [expletive] food!", cursed employees, and then, when an employee started laughing at him, really got mad. When officers confronted Congemi, he reportedly told them, "Don't touch me. I am running for mayor, and once I get elected you will be fired." Sure enough, Congemi is a candidate for the office. When one officer asked him to step outside, Congemi replied, "I don't like you. You gave me a ticket." Officers gave him a warning, ...