Enablers of the month: Tiger Woods handlers, etc., those he handled, and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee
Enablers of the month:
Golf reporters, who obviously didn’t want to risk losing what little access they had to Tiger Woods; Woods’ handlers, who didn’t want to risk losing their jobs; and Woods’ fellow players, who no doubt kept secrets because of Woods’ beneficial effect on their earnings from the increased public interest in golf, not to mention TV ratings.
Tiger Woods’ mistresses, including Rachel Uchitel, NYC club hostess; Jamie Grubbs, cocktail waitress;Kalika Moquin, club manager/promoter from Las Vegas (and least likely to be a co-addict based on her pictures; very cute and earthy); Jamie Jungers, “cute, but totally trashy lingerie model” from Vegas; Mindy Lawton, trailer park waitress; Cori Rist, aspiring model who met Woods at a Manhattan club last year and who was married (with a child) throughout her fling with Woods; Holly Sampson, former porn star; Joslyn James, current porn star; Loredana Jolie, Playboy model and hooker; Julie Postle, an Orlando cocktail waitress; Theresa Rogers, reportedly Tiger’s first mistress and clearly the oldest at about 47, reportedly addicted to sex. See “runners-up” for reference.
Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, defending his decision to commute the sentence of Maurice Clemmons, who ambushed, shot and killed four Seattle-area police officers. “If I could have known nine years ago that this guy was capable of something of this magnitude, obviously I would never have granted the commutation.” While Clemmons pleaded for clemency by writing, “Where once stood a young…misguided fool who’s [sic] own life he was unable to rule…now stands a 27-year-old man who has learned through the ‘school of hard knocks’ to appreciate and respect the rights of others.” Very nice, but the problem, Mr. Huckabee, is that all we need is one relapse for Mr. Clemmons to forget everything he learned. As I wrote in the December 2007 issue of TAR, you misunderstand the underlying cause of most crime. That issue’s Myth of the Month (“I am born again. I will never again commit rape, or any other crime”) recounted the story of Wayne DuMond, to whom you granted clemency. He went on to murder the mother of three young girls less than a year after he was released. Like DuMond, Clemmons may have sincerely intended to keep his promise. However, only staying off the drug can all but guarantee this outcome. An ankle bracelet and regular and random testing is more effective in the long run at keeping an addict clean than religion or even AA, which makes it a far safer solution for the criminally-inclined addict.