Waxing and driving
It was quite a challenge to select this month’s antic. It could have been Elsa Benson, 53, who likes to call 911 on non-emergencies (“my husband won’t eat his supper”) when she gets drunk (30 calls in one recent six-month period); Gregory J. Oras, 37, who called 911 three times saying he was being attacked and who, when officers arrived finding no signs of a fight, asked that the nice officers give him a ride to a local bar (he was instead driven to a place with other kinds of bars); or Lorraine Bulloch who, during an argument with her brother over the fact that he brought home the wrong brand of beer, threw a knife that missed him and instead struck a 3-year-old girl. But none of these top this one, which we crown the winner of this month’s Antic-of-the-Month award and for which any comments will only spoil the moment:
Story from “This is True” by Randy Cassingham, with his “tagline:”
“SMOOTH MOVE: Florida Highway Patrol troopers investigating a crash on Cudjoe Key determined the cause: as she drove, a 37-year-old woman was shaving her …uh… “bikini area” while her ex-husband, in the passenger seat, was steering. After rear-ending another vehicle, they drove another half-mile, and her ex allegedly switched seats with her. As for the unusual distraction, ‘She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,’ said Trooper Gary Dunick. ‘If I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have believed it.’ The day before the crash, driver Megan Mariah Barnes was convicted of drunk driving (not her first offense), and driving with a suspended license. Her license was revoked for five years, and she was ordered to turn in her car for impound. After the crash, Barnes was arrested and charged with hit and run, reckless driving, driving without insurance, and driving with a revoked license. Her ex-husband was not charged. (Key West Citizen) …Since once the trooper heard the story, he could understand why he wasn’t watching the road.”
(Story and tagline from “This is True,” copyright 2010 by Randy Cassingham, used with permission.)