Did my son inherit my alcoholism?
Dot writes: “Just caught the tail end of your interview on this morning’s radio. Watching my son and daughter in law’s marriage go down the tubes with her doing everything she can think of to hold on to it. His father(my x-husband is an alcoholic, so was his grandfather and grandmother on his father’s side alcholic along with two brothers. I have been in a recovery for 18 years looking at all my family history disfunction along with my own. I have been looking at my son’s possible male menopause but now thinking back to my own recovery lessons, I am seeing early stages of alcoholism. If I even mention alcoholish to my children they get very upset with me. He has some of the signs but dosen’t seem to consume that much alcohol as far as I know. The sexual stuff is definitely there and the control and the enflated ego is positively there.
Any suggestions as to what to say to my daughter-in-law?
This is a nasty nasty disease”
I’d say your son may be acting out as a child of alcoholics, but his behaviors should be slowly improving, not worsening, as he matures. Therefore, yes, your worst fears could be true: he may have inherited your and ex’s alcoholism.
My work, Dot, is for the non-addict, or even recovering addict codependent. Not to be self-serving, but I’d purchase my books, read them and share them with your daughter-in-law so that she understands the disease. The non-addict really doesn’t have a clue, as you well know. It is not denial; it is just plain unawareness. They don’t teach this in schools.
You could either get two sets or one and share. Two is good for being able to say, “Did you get to the part about ….. yet?”
You will find something in my books as the “key” to open up your daughter-in-law’s mind. I don’t know what the key will be, but there will be something. My books have many “ah-ha’s!”
Best of luck, Dot.