Current alcoholic stories that would make a good movie: the stories of “the barefoot bandit” Colton Harris-Moore, baseball/would-be financial guru Lenny Dykstra, anthrax killer Bruce Ivins and “tot mom” Casey Anthony.
Movies and docudramas are often based on real-life alcoholics and their antics or tragic outcomes
Television and movies are often based on real-life stories. If we didn’t know the background, we’d often smirk and mutter “yeah, right, like this could really happen.” Yet crazy stuff does happen, frequently due to alcoholism-fueled egomania. Truth is often stranger than fiction only because alcoholism is so pervasive and alcoholics have an impact way out of proportion to their numbers. In that vein, here are several movie ideas we expect to see sooner or later based on “believe it or not” events happening now.
The Barefoot Bandit
Culminating in a guilty plea, no doubt heading to theaters soon is the story of Colton Harris-Moore, aka the “Barefoot Bandit,” who left a trail of stolen planes, boats and cars in several states and countries as he evaded authorities for more than two years while a teenager. Incredibly, he flew across the country without a pilot’s license, maneuvered a stolen boat from his native Washington across the Canadian maritime border and made off with numerous pickups and SUVs stolen from garages, airports and driveways. Before the series of chases, he was already breaking into neighbors’ homes, sheds and convenience stores, stealing hot dogs and Gatorade before slipping into various backwoods hideouts. As mentioned in “enabler of the month” in the November-December 2009 issue of TAR, criminal though he is he may not be the addict. More likely it’s his mother, Pam Kohler, who was “proud” of her son’s “achievements.” In the meantime, Colton apologized to his victims when he was sentenced to six years in prison. If Leonardo DiCaprio plays Colton, we expect the movie to deserve a five star rating.
The Would-Be Financial Guru
A TV-news magazine could serialize the extraordinary story of former New York Mets star and “Mad Money” Jim Cramer’s would-be stock-picking protégé Lenny Dykstra, who has graced these pages as one of those “under watch” in the February 2006 issue and “runner-up” for Top Story in the August-September 2009 and April-May 2011 issue. First, a 1991 DUI almost derailed his baseball career. Later, he created a post-MLB career business empire worth over $50 million that imploded within the span of two years. During this time he purchased hockey great Wayne Gretsky’s Thousand Oaks, California mansion at the peak of the real estate bubble for $18.5 million, the foreclosure of which quickly followed. Dykstra has now been charged with nearly two dozen felony counts relating to a scheme in which he tried to get loans to buy high-end luxury cars using a phony business and stolen identity. With the help of his accountant Robert Hymers, 27 and friend Christopher Gavanis, 30, Dykstra faked pay stubs and income information for the imaginary company, all via the magic of laser printing. Oh, and he was also charged with possession of cocaine and Ecstasy. To think that only last month he was charged with embezzling property from his bankruptcy estate. There’s got to be a movie in there, somewhere, but since we don’t know the ending a TV news magazine will have to do for now. Will Ferrell might give a four star performance playing Dykstra in the eventual movie.
The Anthrax Killer
David Willman has just published The Mirage Man, about Army scientist and anthrax killer Bruce Ivins. Ivins’ true story can be found in the Top Story and the several entrees under “enablers of the month” of the August 2008 issue of TAR, which is one of the greatest stories of up-to-then undiagnosed (yet to us obvious) alcoholism ever told in these pages. Unfortunately, Willman doesn’t mention the underlying addiction in his The Los Angeles Times story on Ivins, printed a week before publication of the book (the article relates some details of his obsessions and “bizarre vendettas,” but incredibly nothing about their root cause—alcoholism). Still, the story will make a great movie some day, but immeasurably better if Ivins’ alcoholism is accurately portrayed. If Chris Cooper (“Breach”, “American Beauty”) plays Ivins, the eventual movie will probably deserve at least four stars.
Tot Mom: Party While Your Toddler is Missing (oh, and Dead)
The story of Casey Anthony has already permeated the news magazines, relegating it in the future to a made-for-TV movie (probably, several of them). Still, the story is fascinating from the point of view of not just its grotesque attributes, but also the lengths to which an addict will go to inflate his or her ego and the sense of invincibility an addict may feel. Casey Anthony’s daughter Caylee was reported missing on July 15, 2008 a month after her disappearance, not by Casey who had reportedly spent the month partying, but by Casey’s mother. During the preceding month, whenever the grandparents asked about Caylee, Casey told them she was too busy for a visit or that Caylee was with a nanny at theme parks, or at the beach.
In fact, she appears to have been in the trunk of Casey’s car for much if not most of that month (but we’ll let the jury decide).
Casey was arrested on July 16 and charged with giving false statements, child neglect and obstruction. She was released on August 21 on bail but incredibly, while being watched closely (and obviously suspected of harming her daughter) her sense of invincibility was so great during this time she apparently forged checks and used a friend’s credit cards without her permission and was re-arrested on August 29. That same sense of invincibility and “nothing is my fault-ever!” attitude apparently took over, as on September 2 she was offered limited immunity on charges of her daughter’s disappearance and didn’t take it. She was quickly released and re-arrested on September 15 on yet new charges of theft, and again released.
Casey Anthony was finally arrested on charges of first-degree murder on October 14, 2008 and has spent the time since in prison awaiting trial. As I wrote in the November-December 2008 TAR, “The story of Casey Anthony’s hard partying after her child’s disappearance is likely a tragic example of the truism that there is no way to predict how seemingly bizarre the behaviors of a practicing addict will become, or when.” It’s also an example of trailblazing as a result of addiction, even if she’s only indirectly (and disgustingly) responsible: the trial is apparently breaking new ground regarding scientific evidence on human decomposition due to the likelihood of the toddler’s decomposing in the trunk of Casey’s car, where evidence of chloroform was found along with chemical compounds “consistent with a decompositional event.” While any future movie (or mini-series) will obviously not focus on such cutting edge science, perhaps some good will come of it if Casey Anthony is portrayed as the addict she is. It should easily get four or five stars if Lindsay Lohan plays Anthony.
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