He’s already got a love affair with Ms. Booze. He will never be able to truly commit until that love affair ends.
She’s looking for a relationship—but is he?
Dear Doug:
My boyfriend and I have worked through most of our issues over the four years we’ve been dating. The trouble is he lives a “wild” lifestyle—partying, drinking and lots of women. Every time I bring up the topic of commitment he changes the subject. What should I do?
Signed,
Wants to Get Serious
Dear Codependent,
Other columnists might suggest he’s doing you a huge favor in “telling” you, by his avoidance of the subject, he doesn’t want a commitment. They would miss the other unspoken point, however: he already has a relationship with his other girlfriend—booze. Due to a damaged neocortex, you cannot reason with him, nor can you trust him, believe him or predict when his behaviors might turn into misbehaviors. Get out of this relationship before you waste any more time—and further risk your possessions, livelihood and personal safety.
(Source for story idea: “Ask Amy,” April 30, 2013.)