Book Review: “The True Stella Awards”
Review: “The True Stella Awards,”by Randy Cassingham
Based on his popular website, www.StellaAwards.com, humorist Randy Cassingham brings us this terrific book chronicling one outrageous lawsuit after another. Most would find it unfathomable that the cases discussed and thoroughly lampooned are brought before U.S. courts, but the wonder is diminished when the likelihood of alcoholism in many of the litigants is taken into account. Cassingham performs an admirable service in mocking them and bringing us smiles, even though underneath we know that for every case discussed there may be thousands of others like it that fail to attract the ridicule they deserve.
A classic case comes from the world of sports. Anthony Ercolano, 44, was a big fan of the Seattle Mariners. He spent $32,000 for a pair of season tickets in the exclusive “Diamond Club”section five rows behind home plate. He figured that gave him the right to be loud”and that other fans and players, who could hear among many noises, baby-crying sounds when batters argued with the umpire, had no right to ask him to tone down his racket. So, Ercolano did what anyone else would do in similar circumstances: he sued the team for violating his freedom of speech. We give him the benefit of the doubt by assuming that his sense of entitlement stems from alcoholism.
Another involves financial abuse. Antoinette Millard, 40, posed as a Saudi Arabian princess and was issued a coveted “Black”no-credit-limit American Express card, which she used to run up a $951,000 debt. She was arrested and charged with grand larceny. She was also charged with insurance fraud for filing a $262,000 claim for jewelry she said had been stolen, but which prosecutors say she sold. We might be called cynical if we assume she paid for the jewelry with the “Black”card, but we’d probably be right.
When American Express sued her for the debt, Millard insisted she should not be held liable, since American Express “induced”her to sign up for the card by promising she could make “flexible payments.”She countersued American Express for $2 million, arguing that they “knew or should have known that [Millard] was acting impulsively and irrationally at the time she entered into contract.”Sensible people might think that such an argument takes alcoholic blame as far as it can go, but they would be wrong.
Ron Brown, 23, refused to pull over after Clemson, South Carolina police responded to a 4 am report that he had tried to run down a pedestrian. Brown, with police in pursuit, drove off the end of a bridge under construction and was killed. His father, Bob Brown, filed a wrongful death suit against everyone involved. Police were sued for having “forced”his son to drive into a “dangerous construction zone.”Thrift Brothers Construction Company was sued for not having sufficient signs and barriers to stop his crazed son. Brown Sr. also brought action against the South Carolina Department of Transportation, the apartment complex where the chase began and the complex employee who made the initial report.
Should we laugh”or should we cry? We laugh because Cassingham has a wonderful way with words. We cry when considering our tax dollars at work in the courts and the time people are forced to waste in defending themselves against the miscreants supplying the fodder for these all-too-true stories. But Cassingham is doing a great service in pointing out the flaws in our system and the compounding of errors when insurers settle, which serves only to encourage more of the same misbehaviors by others who decide to board the gravy train.
Cassingham’s mix of humorous style and serious message strikes just the right balance to address a costly and ugly problem. Perhaps, insurers and courts will some day get the message. Drug Addiction Recognition Expertsâ„¢ understand the underlying cause of most such problems, which is half the solution.