An obvious drunk, unidentified as such by the columnist
Dear Doug: Demanding Dan
Dear Doug:
My husband, Dan, is unemployed, sits up late drinking and watching TV and gets angry when I wake him in the morning to care for our infant son when I go to work. He wants to hire a child care provider, but I’ve explained to him we can’t afford it”with my four children from a previous relationship, along with his three kids for whom we have to provide”until he gets a job. He doesn’t even look.
On top of this, Dan accuses me of cheating and not caring about our family, right in front of our 2-year-old son. I’d like to stay in the marriage, but Dan refuses counseling.
Signed,
Exasperated
. . . .
Dear Exasperated,
Other columnists might say that Dan is in a rut and depressed, and that you should tell Dan you love him, have confidence and think your bond with him would be strengthened with counseling. The truth of the matter is that Dan is a drunk and you shouldn’t leave any of your children with him, much less your infant son. Leave him now and thank your lucky stars you and your children survived. And take a good, hard look at yourself and the reasons you even have to ask what to do.
PS: I’m not imaginative enough to make this stuff up. This really is an accurate sense of the letter and response. It’s hard to fathom that an average of two responses a week are published where a likely correct diagnosis of alcoholism is completely missed and where, in my opinion, the analysis could prove lethal to the letter writer.