Runners-up: what does a despot, a mass murderer, a sheriff and a few celebrities have in common?
Runners-up for top story of the month:
Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez, who reportedly “misspoke” in announcing that he chews “coca paste” every morning, which serves as a base for cocaine and is sometimes smoked but not chewed. He later claimed he meant to say he chews coca leaves, which with his consumption of up to 30 espressos a day may explain his tirades. However, this and his weight got me thinking about comedian Arte Lange, who is over 300 pounds and uses cocaine, heroin, alcohol and just about every other drug under the sun. Perhaps Mr. Chavez has learned Lange’s secrets. This would be consistent with the observation that alcoholics are more frequently heavy caffeine users than are non-addicts and that very few non-alcoholics can drink coffee before bedtime while many alcoholics can drink a pot and go right to sleep.
Mass murderer Stephen Kazmierczak, 27, who killed five students before putting the gun to himself, had stopped taking his Prozac a few days before the slaughter in northern Illinois. He was described by some as “solid,” even though he bounced around jobs and abruptly quit training as a prison guard, even though he had quit another job because he wanted to become a correctional officer. The addiction aware would predict he was using drugs capable of causing distortions of perception and memory. Indeed, he had been prescribed Xanax and Ambien–sedative-hypnotics in the same league as Valium–by his psychiatrist.
Actress Sean Young, who played opposite Harrison Ford in the movie “Blade Runner,” escorted from the ballroom of the Hyatt Regency in Century City after an outburst during the Directors Guild of America Awards ceremony, where she heckled director Julian Schnabel as he started to say a few words from the podium. The next day her publicist explained that after “struggling against the disease” of alcoholism for many years, she admitted herself into rehab. Sometimes a public embarrassment proves the inspiration needed to get alcoholics to try sobriety. We’ll keep a good thought for you, Ms. Young.
Pat O’Brien, host of the CBS celebrity news show “The Insider,” back in rehab. “Spiderman” actress Kirsten Dunst and “Hitch” actress Eva Mendes checking into the Cirque Lodge, Utah rehab facility, possibly within days of each other. Raymond O’Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal, busted for DUI and drug possession–again. Unfortunately, Christian Brando, eldest son of actor Marlon Brando, didn’t make it despite several reported attempts at rehab and numerous legal troubles, including a guilty plea to manslaughter in 1990 and a “no contest” plea of spousal abuse in 2005. He died from complications of pneumonia after living hard and a failure to inherit his father’s more sturdy alcoholic constitution. Christian was 49.
Former Orange County, California sheriff Michael Carona, who qualified for Top Story in the December 2007 issue of the Thorburn Addiction Report due to his arrest on charges of corruption, didn’t know that his friend Don Haidl was cooperating with federal authorities when he was taped discussing money Haidl had paid him. At one point during the profanity-laced recording Carona says he will deny receiving money from Haidl and that there is “no trail anywhere.” Oh, except for the wire.
Actor Kiefer Sutherland, 41, spared media attention as his jail sojourn ended, reportedly because of his age. Then explain the publicity surrounding actor Mel Gibson’s arrest and anti-Semitic tirade and comedian Michael Richards’ racist rant. Let’s instead try the idea that his story is boring because he appears contrite, which suggests that Kiefer is done with the drama. Once again, Kiefer, we’re hoping you decide drama is best left for television, especially “24.”