Dear Doug: Workplace Bullies
AUGUST 2004
Dear Doug,
I was bullied by two co-workers for several years in my office, which serves law enforcement. The co-workers threw objects at me, slammed doors in my face, “accidentally”ran into me on many occasions and stole personal items. Management refused to take the necessary action to end the abuse. Deciding enough was enough, I took early retirement. I can’t imagine why anyone would engage is such juvenile behavior. I’ve had a difficult time recovering emotionally. While I don’t think they should permanently get away with abusing others, I don’t look forward to waging a legal battle. What should I do?
–Abused
. . . . . .
Dear Abused,
Other columnists might only ask if these co-workers think they are in junior high school. Instead, I would suggest that their emotional growth was stunted due to the likelihood of having triggered alcohol and other drug addiction in adolescence. They act like adolescents because emotionally they are, regardless of chronological age. In addition, due to distortions of perception and memory, they think they do no wrong and have developed an “I am better than you”attitude. Then of course they can abuse you”and must, in an effort to inflate the inordinately large sense of self-importance that is part and parcel of alcoholism.
Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, both alcoholics, are also reported to have thrown things and slammed doors. Damaged walls and doors are often found in homes rented or even owned by alcoholics. Over 80% of incidents involving violence, theft and other criminal behaviors are committed by alcohol or other drug addicts. Imagine the behaviors of your former co-workers behind closed doors if in a position where they can get away with it, without fear of consequences.
While the co-workers need consequences, if a lawsuit isn’t worth your mental state, don’t do it. On the other hand, if understanding the alcoholic need to wield power over others helps you to better deal with your emotions, you might ask, “I wonder why I was given this opportunity?”Perhaps the answer will be, to help administer the consequences needed to inspire two likely alcoholics to get sober. Their families, other co-workers and taxpayers would all benefit from improved behaviors. Without intervention or until they enter latter-stage addiction, which often occurs only in retirement, the behaviors will probably worsen.
(Source for story idea: Annie’s Mailbox, July 21, 2004)