Don’t bother mixing alcohol with warning signs; voodoo fails to protect con man
Story from “This is True” by Randy Cassingham, with his “tagline:”
“WHAT PART OF “DO NOT TOUCH” DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? Willie Eugene Lewis climbed a fence (posted “DANGER: Hazardous Voltage Inside — KEEP OUT!”) at a power station in Talladega, Ala. He then climbed onto the equipment, says Police Chief Alan Watson, and suffered a 40,000 volt shock. (“Alcohol should not be ruled out as a factor,” according to Watson.) Lewis then climbed back over the fence and walked to a hospital for help. He was listed in critical condition with burns over 90 percent of his body. The only specific injury Watson could bring himself to report was that Lewis “burned off his genitals.”(Talladega Daily Home) …Thus making “Willie” a rather unfortunate name.”
Chief Watson no doubt didn’t want to “falsely accuse” Lewis of being a drunkard. However, we know the only other explanation is that Lewis is one of the greatest morons ever. Hey, Chief Watson, let’s give Lewis the benefit of the doubt: alcoholism is by far the best explanation for Lewis’s apparent stupidity.
As a special “bonus” this month, Randy has graciously allowed me to share with you the next classic, for which a comment among friends is almost unnecessary. If you haven’t already subscribed to his newsletter (the free one at least, or the paid one I get, with twice the stories), I highly recommend it: www.ThisIsTrue.com.
“WOULD YOU BUY A USED CAR FROM THIS MAN? Ruben Hernandez, 34, was sentenced to 12 years in prison for defrauding banks of about $4 million in a real estate scheme. He still faces 28 more fraud counts relating to his used car dealership. It was a fairly run-of-the-mill case, until investigators searched Hernandez’s house after his arrest. ‘Even the U.S. marshals were spooked’ by what they found, said Deputy District Attorney Eugene Hanrahan: voodoo-like dolls in a shrine in a bedroom. ‘The star attractions were these three effigy dolls dunked upside down in this brown liquid,’ he said. ‘One of them had my name, and the other two had the names of investigators.’ He noted the dolls had pins in their eyes, and the criminal case number was attached to them. (Los Angeles Times) …His lawyer can expect to be next.”
We’ve got only two questions: what’s the brown liquid? And just what combination of drugs is Ruben Hernandez using?
(Story and tagline from “This is True,” copyright 2010 by Randy Cassingham, used with permission.)